In the first few days of 2010 I have taken some time for the obligatory retrospective on the past year and gazed into the crystal ball of next year. What did I find through this self analysis? I am grateful, hopeful, and blessed.
I do not think it is possible for me to be more extremely, immensely, incredibly grateful for the year that was 2009. The most wonderfully amazing man I know proposed and we got married (all in a 9 week span, I might add) and spent 8 glorious days in Playa Del Carmen. The beach is one of my all time favorite places to be, it was our honeymoon and our only vacation last year which made it that much more perfect and relaxing. We moved in together and learning to live with someone else and share that space has been an incredible learning experience. My family (and his family) were wonderful and helpful and supportive through the quick process and they continue to remind me how grateful I am to have a family that is there no matter what. The hubs and I both have good solid jobs and never had to worry about the economy affecting that. We have a large extended family in our friends who always keep things fun and exciting. We celebrated marriages, first birthdays, seeing old friends, making new ones, and life all together. Sharing those experiences with someone who you love more than you can express who love you back just as much is something I never could have imagined. You hear people talk about it, you read stories, you watch movies, but you can never know how much it fills your whole life, every part of your being, with joy and wonder and pure gratefulness until you experience it.
My expectations for 2010 are so high, it is almost scary. There is so much hope in this year. Our first full year of marriage with more learning about each other and ourselves, more shared experiences, more love. A renewed intention to spend more time on my yoga mat, deepening my practice and walking more yogi-like in my everyday life has me nervous and excited and breathing deeply. I am scared out of my mind at my plan, though not fully developed and thought through, to further my education by starting the MBA program at the University of Tulsa in the fall. Babies everywhere I turn. Not mine, thankfully, but those of close friends and family. This summer is going to be crazy! And with those babies, the added pressure on us to jump on the baby bandwagon which we have no plan of doing any time soon. 2010 is a year of intentions for me. No resolutions, no hard line goals, just intentions. Intentions to be the best wife I can, intentions to bring balance to my life and not take on too much, intentions to deepen my yoga practice, intentions to continually expand my mind and world. Most of all, the intention to live fully, thoughtfully, and intentionally every second of every day.
Looking back at the past and trying to imagine the future is one of those things I try not to do too often. It takes away from the here and now, which is always paramount. But doing so gives me perspective on life and what I see right now is that I am blessed. I have so much more than what I deserve it is ridiculous. But I continue to hold on and soak up every moment of joy, because that is what life is about, after all.